Meet Frederica, Faith After Loss

The May Feature is here. Friends, meet Frederica. I have known Frederica for quite some time. She has been apart of Fiercely Fearless, since the beginning. Today, she shares her story that I am sure many people can relate to. This takes a lot of courage to talk about, and certainly showcases how she is Fiercely Fearless.

Frederica and her Dad

“2007 was the hardest year for me. I was 19 years old, a newlywed, and I never thought I would hear the word cancer. My dad was getting a colonoscopy done when they found out he had cancer of the colon, and that  he needed to do more tests the next day. When that appointment came, he found out, not only did he have colon cancer, he had lung cancer as well. Soon they were recommending radiation and chemo. He had a port put in his chest, while he was doing chemo. They suggested surgery of the colon, to remove it, then have it tested to see how bad the cancer was. Once it was removed, they came to find out he didn’t have cancer of the colon! So a year after fighting with the lung cancer, and doing chemo, they told him that he was in remission. That was the greatest news ever.

So, my dad and I went to McDonald’s and I asked him if he was okay with dying. He said yes, because he prayed to God when I was born, that he would live long enough to see me graduate, and to walk me down the aisle. He got both blessings. He also told me that God works in mysterious ways and is able to show us messages, when we need to be shown. He preferred me not to hate God, and to appreciate the life he gave him. I cried out to my dad, telling him he had to live until he was 83. After that I didn’t care when he passed away. He said it’s not up to him or me, that it’s up to God.

Frederica & her Father when he was bed ridden

In 2011 his right arm swelled up to the point to where he couldn’t get himself dressed or go to the bathroom. He kept on forgetting to turn off the car when he parked it or why he was driving. We thought that was off, so we took him to the doctor. Come in to find out he had cancer of the brain, and they told him this type of cancer is not savable. They told him he had 6 months to live. Within those months, he was smiling and happy and we were enjoying every moment of it. Then one day, he sat down and told us but he was proud of us and that he was blessed with three beautiful girls. I told him it was an honor to be his daughter and for him to be my dad. He told me to always keep a positive outlook and  never stop being me, and that he would always be watching me.

Frederica with her Father & Sisters

As the cancer got stronger he became weaker, eventually was bed ridden, and then ped talking and eating.  On April 29th 2011, I was reading the Bible and I paused and told him that I would always keep an eye out on the family and my Mom. That if he wanted to be with his oldest daughter, who passed away when she was a baby, that he can and that I love him. Then I heard the death rattle, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he would be with God. On April 30, 2011  at 630 in the morning he passed away, as my mom was cuddling him.

Now at 31 and typing this on the anniversary of his death, I’m understanding everything he said about God and prayers. I hated God for taking my dad, but every time I prayed or cried that I needed my dad, I would see a dart truck. He was a trucker for 18 years. Every time I need a positive outlook or a reminder I would always see a dart truck.  I’m very thankful for the lessons he taught me, even though I’m getting them now.  I’m stronger with God and appreciate life and love each day my feet touch the ground.” -Frederica

I know this may be a hard topic for some to read, but I pray that by Frederica opening up and sharing her story, that we can each feel a little more comfort in knowing we are not alone. Life is so hard, but such a blessing to have God’s love and Grace, and putting people in our lives.